“Them’re some straight up sonsuhbitches,” was the way one Montana cowboy described the mountains that flank the gateway to the Paradise Valley.  They loom ominously over Livingston.

Not the previously mentioned mountains, but a random photo taken in Meagher County.

This is yet another travel post.  I don’t think you really appreciate all the gems that Montana has to offer.  But you will.  I am about to take you on a driving loop and show you a few more.

Start in Livingston.  We can discuss the importance this later.  Just know that this loop will take more than a day if you stop at every one of the places I mention.  The only rule for following this loop is that you HAVE TO stop at Red Ants Pants.

Livingston the home of the artists and poets of Montana.  The writers, the thinkers, the left-brainers. Also home of Meg Ryan, Dennis Quaid and Batman.  I think.  If that’s changed, I’m going to be very disappointed.

I haven’t spent much time in Livingston, and can only recommend one place to eat because is the only place my husband and I eat in Livingston.  And, it is the only place in Montana that I have eaten Mexican food that comes anywhere close to tasting like the food that I miss in New Mexico.  I long for New Mexico food about every other minute.  Even if I’m eating chocolate chips. Also the bathroom has been clean every time.  That racks up the brownie points for me.  Also, the food and the plates are boiling hot.  So while it may not be everyone’s taste, I get my green chili fix and my husband gets a hot meal in his tummy.  The restaurant is Fiesta En Jalisco.  Oh and they didn’t have exactly what I wanted on their menu, but they made it for me anyway.  Can you say high maintenance?

Head north from Livingston on Hwy 89.

You will hit Clyde Park and then Wilsall.  In Wilsall check out (but don’t drink and drive), the Bank Bar in Wilsall, and the Wilsall Bar & Cafe.  The latter is run by the Rooney’s who also own Cloud Nine Farms, from which we get our summer CSA share of veggies.  They are excellent veggies.  Another place to check out is Val’s Deli.

Drive north, on up to White Sulphur Springs.  You can stay in one of the four hotels in town.  Make sure you get a chance to soak in the Hotsprings.  Come visit us at Red Ants Pants.  Even if you don’t buy a pair, you can try them on so you know your size.

From White Sulphur, head East towards Harlowton.  You will drive a very similar route to the one that T.C Bruce rode on the train from WSS to Two Dot, in the most excellent book Ride the Jawbone, by local author, Jim Moore.

Anyway.  Before you get to Harlowton, you will pass the turn-off to Lennep/Martinsdale.  Take that turn and visit/stay at/eat at the Crazy Mountain Inn.  I recommend (through other people’s recommendations) that you have the Chicken Fried Steak and the Lemon Cream Pie.

Also in Martinsdale is the Bair Museum.  It is one of the most talked-about tourist spots for this area during the summer months.  The Museum is open Memorial Day through Labor day.  Memorial Day is just around the corner so you don’t have to wait too long.

Okeydoke.  On to Harlowton.   In this pretty little town, many people are yard-proud (though some are not) and I get scared when I drive through late at night and I look at the old courthouse and imagine there are ghosts in the black windows, looking at me looking at them.

But apart from imaginary ghosts there is also Snowy Mountain Coffee.  We drink their coffee.  We love their coffee.  We buy their coffee in bulk.  And we eat their treats.  Yum.  You should try it all. But don’t throw up.

Harlowton is also the home of Cream of the West.  Did you eat your porridge this morning?  Was it Cream of the West?  It should have been.  Did you know they have an entire organic selection?  Check it out.

After you have looked around Harlowton, drive south to Big Timber.  Soak up the gorgeousness of the Crazy Mountains during your drive.

Once in Big Timber, there are a number of places you can go.

Big Timber recently won a bid to become the home of the Montana Cowboy Hall of Fame and Western Heritage Center.  GO BIG TIMBER!

Blake Nursery is one of our favorites.  We have mentioned them before.  You can also get your nails done by Darlene at Sam’s Hair Salon.

Big Timber dates for you to mark in your calendars:

• Saturday May 12th.  Bull-a-rama (do not ask me what a bull-a-rama is) at the Rodeo Grounds. 6pm.  Call 406-932-5131 for info.
• June 8th, 9th and 10th.  The Big Timber Gun Show.  Channel the right-winged, conservative militia in you.  (I’m being funny.)
• June 29th and 30th.  The Sweetgrass Festival and Big Timber Rodeo.  Check it out.

Once you have soaked up all that Big Timber has to offer, head west, back to Livingston, along the interstate.  I know that I told you we would discuss the point of why we need to start in Livingston.  But I don’t want to.

The worms are wiggling and the daffodils are out. So are the little blue flowers that I don’t know the names of. So is the hose that I use for anything from washing muddy boots to filling up the dog’s water bowl – even though the dog wont touch the water, but instead, the orphan calf drinks out of it – even though she is supposed to drink out of the stream.

Sorry, I took a tangent. My thoughts are about as organized as my garden.

It is time (if you procrastinate like me) to be thinking about your garden. If you aren’t a procrastinator, you have been thinking about it for a while.

I know nothing about gardening. All that is in my garden is the product of somebody else’s work. But that doesn’t stop me trying.

I need help. Along this fenceline

we had a pear tree die from “winterkill” (which means it froze) and I need to replace it.

More specifically, I need a new tree here.

I’d also like to add some mulch to my flower beds and vegetable garden and plant some pretty geraniums in the small bed by the front door.

Where do I go to get the information I need and the plants I need?

I will take you on a tour of four local (sort of) nurseries that would all help me answer this question as well as the other gardening queries I might have.

Starting with Big Timber. Blake Nursery is open Mon-Sat 9-5.30 and Sun 12-5. Blake Nursery offers coupons on their website to help you save on items that you need, and their newsletter alerts you to special sales. They also have many educational articles to help you through your gardening season.

In Great Falls, Forde Nursery. The nursery is open now through July: Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 8-5, and Sun 11-4. Forde Nursery is offering seminars throughout the summer. April 21st (tomorrow) is Gardening Smart followed by the effects and management of Noxious Weeds. April 28th is Pots for your Porch – The Art of Container Gardening. I love seminars.

In Belgrade, Wagner Nursery (open 10-5) is having a Bareroot Tree and Shrub Sale April 23rd – 27th. OMG. This is exciting to me for two reasons. One, the tree I need that I told you about. I have no idea what kind of tree would be appropriate for that spot in the yard. In Meagher County. In Montana. Two, the tree that I don’t need but I want. I am leaning towards an Autumn Blaze Maple. But again that is because I know nothing about them.

Last but local, The Garden Shop, in White Sulphur Springs is run by Pat. She doesn’t have a website but this is her phone number: 406-547-3822. She provided the flowers for my wedding, and gave me hints on how to make the tubs look as good as I could get them. This was the result

I need to become educated, but until that happens (and it will with the help of these four nurseries) I will continue dreaming, planting, pruning, weeding, picking the wrong shrubs, and filling up the calf’s dog’s water bowl until I get it right.

Our Mission
The Bob Marshall Wilderness Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to restoring and preserving the trail system and wilderness values in the Bob Marshall Wilderness Complex. We accomplish our mission through cooperation with the US Forest Service, partner groups, individual volunteers and generous donors.

How Do We Do This?
Working with four different National Forests in the Bob Marshall Wilderness Complex, we identify trail system improvements and then create educational, challenging, environmentally minded and scenic trail service projects into “The Bob”. The Bob Marshall Wilderness Foundation helps coordinate crew leadership, work itineraries, food menus, tool and equipment needs, pack support and post project reports to the Forest Service for every project.

Who We Work With
Our partners include the US Forest Service, youth programs, conservation organizations, university groups, volunteer packers, local businesses and thousands of individual volunteers across the country. One of the primary objectives of the Bob Marshall Wilderness Foundation is to provide an opportunity for volunteers, especially youth, to develop team building skills, learn new skills including Leave No Trace backcountry ethics, and develop wilderness awareness while participating on volunteer projects.

Sarah Kmon’s Perspective
“The Bob” is one of the most spectacular places I have ever been. What does that mean coming from a gal who lives in boring old White Sulphur Springs? I’ll tell you:

One, White Sulphur Springs is not boring, the Smith River Valley is beautiful.

Two, I have seen pristine, gorgeous lanscapes from the top of far off places such as: the Brandberg Massif in Namibia; Mogollon Baldy in the Gila Wilderness, New Mexico; Ben Vorlich, Scotland; Ben Nevis, Scotland; Ben Somethingelse, Scotland; the Organ Mountains, Las Cruces New Mexico; Sacajawea, Bozeman, MT; and some random park above Little Apex in the Bob Marshall Wilderness Complex. And the Bob Marshall Wilderness is one of the most spectacular places I have ever been.

These are some photos that I took during my time in the Bob.

 I took this by putting the lens of the camera up to the looking glass of the binoculars. I am an uberprofessional photographer.

I strongly recommend a trip to the Bob Marshall Wilderness. Either to volunteer with the Foundation itself and really experience it, or by going for a trip into the backcountry.

We are hugely grateful to the Bob Marshall Wilderness Foundation for all their support. So yes, we are a little biased. But did you see the pictures? You don’t have to be biased to enjoy such a beautiful place. Go see for yourself. Then come and tell us what you thought. And show us your uberprofessional pictures.

Red Ants Pants are great for spring planting because:

They have a contoured waistline, which means that when you are bent over, circulation to your torso remains intact but no-one is traumatized-for-life by the site of your plumber’s crack/builder’s bum/whateveryouwanttocallit.

It’s a win-win situation.

We think you should come and visit Red Ants Pants via Great Falls.

You may see a view like this if you do.

But you must do it in March because Freezout Lake is the stopover point for as many as 300,000 snow geese and 10,000 tundra swans making their way to Canada from Texas.

If you don’t like the idea of being a birdwatcher, you can shake that feeling in the evening by heading to the Sip n Dip Lounge – a bar with a window to the subsurface level of a swimming pool. Their claim to fame is that the bar was “‘named the #1 bar on earth worth flying for’ by GQ Magazine”. I guess it’s worth going to.

On your way down to White Sulphur Springs the next day, plan a meal at the Lazy Doe in Monarch.

When you get to White Sulphur Springs, check in to the All Seasons, and soak in the hotsprings, next door. Mmmmm.

The next morning (make sure it isn’t a Sunday) soak again, eat breakfast at Dori’s on main street, then stop by Red Ants Pants for a chat, a hot drink, or the purchase of some durable women’s workpants.

On your return to Great Falls from Red Ants Pants, stop in at the Harvest Moon Brewing Company in Belt, but not before you hit the slopes of Showdown for some late season skiing.

Have fun!

Some of us at Red Ants Pants like to garden.

Some of us like the idea of gardening.

And some of us (me) like looking at other people’s gardens and daydreaming about the one we don’t have.

Montana is a very difficult place to garden. The soil is, shall we say, unsoily. The weather must be weathered, whether you want to or not. And plants just don’t like to grow.

What is a gardener to do?

Zone 4 Magazine is full of inspired solutions, tips and ideas of how to live the gardener’s life in Zone 4.

The magazine was started by Andra and Dan Spurr after they moved to Bozeman, MT and made some “costly and frustrating mistakes” with their garden, trees and shrubs. You can read their story here.

Zone 4 is “written by experts for real people with real concerns who want to learn more about successful gardening, landscaping, and healthy local foods raised and grown in zone 4″. It has a wide-ranging readership, and Zone 4 celebrates that.
One beautiful, spring day, like today, I will dip into my Zone 4 magazine, not just to daydream, but because I need some information about what kind of mulch is the best for planting strawberries in White Sulphur Springs.

Check out Zone 4 Magazine. We love it.

Oh? You have been to the Red Ants Pants store? Great.

Well if you haven’t, here are some photos to give you an idea of what you might see, and if you have, here are some photos from angles I bet you didn’t look from (unless you were four years old at the time).

I wasn’t kidding. Floor to ceiling inventory shelves. Getting the pants at the top is superfun.

Call me wierd but…ok, call me really wierd, but I have a thing for these coathangers. I think because all the coathangers in my closet are flimsy metal. Not pretty wooden coathangers.

Can anyone tell me where this dude is located?

And did you look up at the original tin roof?

Or lay your head flat on the belt table?

Isn’t he cute?

We are very proud that Red Ants Pants are made in the USA.

What else should I take pictures of?

Fly into Bozeman March 8th, get in the car and drive to White Sulphur Springs. I know you have been sitting in a plane all day, but do it anyway.

Check into the Hotpsrings Spa and Motel, where you can soak in the evening and again in the morning. Eat breakfast on the 9th at Dori’s.

Then come and see us at Red Ants Pants. We will be so very happy to see you.

After you have told us all about yourself, drive south from White Sulphur towards Livingston. Walk around downtown Livingston and stretch your legs. Stop in to Chadz coffee shop. Then drive further south to Chico Hotsprings Resort and Dayspa.

Soak in the heavenly waters at Chico, eat a delicious meal in their restaurant, and then dance your new Red Ants Pants off to Montana Rose, who are playing there that night.

The next day, drive to Red Lodge. Every year, Red Lodge hosts the Ski-Joring National Finals. Spend the next two nights in Red Lodge and soak up the crazy atmosphere of Ski-Joring.

Photo courtesy of Merv Coleman.

One place to check out while you are in Red Lodge is Sam’s Tap Room. Drink hot cocoa in the snow, smell the horses’ sweat, experience the brief panic when you realize a skier is sliding full speed towards you unable to stop, before they turn at the last minute and jump an obstacle.

Some homework for you – find out why the skiers slide effortlessly over the snowpacked surface, but the horses have traction even though they are wearing metal shoes. Go. Tweet us (@redantspants) or facebook us the answer. But ONLY if you went to Red Lodge to find out.

On the 12th, fly home.

Where the #$%$ have you been?

Oh no wait, that’s me. Where have I been? Well, I haven’t been on the computer, nor have I been to town much.

At home, every day we have baby cows coming in to the world, and I have spent most all of my time facilitating that.

It is calving season, and while the rest of the United States is in a tizzy about climate change and the warmest, dryest winter on record, we are loudly giving thanks that little baby cows aren’t getting their ears and tails frozen off, like they did last year.

Another highlight of this years calving season is this little guy.

We are bottle feeding him,

which makes him think I am his mother.

It is a bittersweet task. Because as cute as he is, and as much fun I have watching him make up his own games and chase his shadow around the corral, I wish that he was out in the pasture with a bovine mother, where he would have other friends to play with, like these guys.

And although I will do my best, if I don’t get back on here any time soon you will know that it is because I am immersed in soft black cuteness mixed with a little blood, gross gook and calf poop.

What are you doing with your February?

Stay tuned for line-up and more info soon on www.redantspantsmusicfestival.com

Cheers!